Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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