What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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