help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
