the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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