addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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