God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you would pick up someone in the library
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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