Do you still have your period?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
