we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
