Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
