Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am available for nakedness
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
