I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
