apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
