I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
