if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
