We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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