I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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