Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
