I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
