2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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