Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
