KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
