I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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