Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wear drunk well.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
