so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
