Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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