She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
