We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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