My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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