my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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