OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
