I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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