they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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