Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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