I can't watch pbs sober anymore
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
