when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
