I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
