I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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