playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
