She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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