Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
