yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
