I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
