No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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