so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
