If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
