My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
