is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
