your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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