WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
