Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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