he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
